Beloved matriarch, ‘unstoppable’ in her ministry to others

“On July 12, after 90 years full of adventures, purpose, service, joys, sorrows, faith, and meaning, Dr. Carol Helen Bekendam was reunited with Pete, her late husband of 64 years. She died peacefully, surrounded by her children,” her family shared.

Born in Rock Valley, Iowa, on December 20, 1933 to Frances and Annetta Corwin, Carol often recalled fond early childhood memories of idyllic farm life in the Blue Mounds of Minnesota. Her family relocated to Southern California when she was in grade school, and she went on to graduate from Bellflower Christian High School. She married her high school sweetheart on June 15, 1951.

Yearning for a spacious place to call their own, the couple eventually purchased land nestled next to what is now Chino Hills State Park and for the next 20 years ran a dairy business while raising their four children and five foster children, growing churches, teaching Sunday school, participating in several ministries including Teen Challenge, prison visitation programs, and founding a halfway house in Claremont called Crossroads.

“Unstoppable in her pursuit of ministry to others and inspired by her personal traumas as well as her experience working with prisoners and persons with a substance use disorder, Carol returned to school at the age of 40 and completed a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy and began to work at what she would name The Creative Counseling Center at Pomona First Baptist Church (now Purpose Church),” her family added. She ultimately completed her Ph.D. in clinical psychology at the age of 63.

With their nest empty, the couple sold their ranch and relocated to Upland, and she began a clinical practice in Claremont where she helped her clients for more than 30 years until she reluctantly “retired” at age 86. “In truth, it is rumored she never fully retired as she was still reachable by telephone to a handful of clients up until her passing,” her family said.

“Carol had the foresight of chronicling her remarkable journey of personal triumphs and struggles in her published memoir, ‘A Spacious Place,’ a relief to the author of this obituary, who finds it impossible to adequately summarize Carol’s story in this limited space. Even the 500 pages of her memoir were not enough, as she doesn’t include much of her globetrotting excursions to 57 different countries in this tome,” her family said. Later in life she also published a work of fiction and a short story.

“Carol may have been many things, but she was never bored,” her family said. “When asked to describe their grandma Carol in just a few words her surviving grandchildren and great-grandchildren said, ‘Adventurous; full of vitality; determined; unstoppable achiever; curious learner; explorer; detail-oriented, remembered everyone’s likes and dislikes; fearless; inspiring; impactful; insightful; trailblazer; loving; kind; compassionate; lived enough for three lifetimes; gentle; always remembered me; collector; admirer of the arts; and Calvin Klein Eternity.’”

She is survived by her children Randy, Cheri, and Jeffrey; eight grandchildren; and 18 great-grandchildren. She is also survived by foster sons John, Ben, and Henry, their eight children, and 10 grandchildren.

She was preceded in death by her husband, Pete; her teenage son, Michael; her foster daughter, Kimberly; her foster son, Andre; and her great-grandson baby Brodie.

A celebration of life service will be held at 10 a.m. Friday, August 16 at Purpose Church, 601 N. Garey Ave., Pomona, CA 91767.

In lieu of flowers a donation in her honor to Crossroads, Inc. in Claremont, California would be appreciated, at crossroadswomen.org/donate.