by the Rev. Natalie Shiras and the Rev. Jan Chase

In this time of increasing polarization and escalating violence, one might ask, “What is the compassionate thing to do?”

We find ourselves easily drawn into the “Ain’t it awful” or “Ain’t they awful” conversations, feeling self-righteous in our stances. Yet, have we an inkling of what people on the “other side” are thinking and feeling? Probably not.

We are facilitators of the Circle of Chairs Interracial Dialogue on Race. We are a part of conversations that take us into our hearts as we listen to people with different experiences and perspectives. As our hearts grow bigger, our world grows bigger and deeper.

Now that we seem more polarized than ever, we are joining with Braver Angels, which works to bridge the partisan divide, “not to change peoples’ views of issues, but to change their views of each other.” The Braver Angels way fits in with the guidelines Circle of Chairs has long adhered to:

We state our views freely and fully, without fear.

We treat people who disagree with us with honesty, dignity and respect.

We welcome opportunities to engage those with whom we disagree.

We believe all of us have blind spots and none of us are not worth talking to.

We seek to disagree accurately, avoiding exaggeration and stereotypes.

We look for common ground where it exists and, if possible, find ways to work together.

We believe in disagreements both sides share and learn.

In Braver Angels, neither side is teaching the other or giving feedback on how to think or say things differently.

The topic we have chosen for our 30th Circle of Chairs Interracial and Intergenerational Dialogue on Race — should DEI D-I-E? — works beautifully for this deep listening session. We will gather from 3 to 6 p.m. Saturday, October 11 on the second floor of Pitzer College’s Gold Student Center Multipurpose Room, 1102 Pitzer Service Rd., Claremont.

The Circle of Chairs format provides facilitated discussions in a safe space on topics that might be regarded as difficult or controversial. Participants will sit in small circles to share their values and how they do or do not intersect with diversity, equity and inclusion. We will engage with challenges and inspirational ideas. While people speak, the others will sit silently and respectfully without interruption. At the end there will be an open discussion.

The unfolding group process reveals different kinds of personal meaning and value — usually positive. Each person is invited to share what they feel comfortable sharing. Whatever comes out of these relationships will have value; we will learn about each other’s lives, faiths, strengths, and vulnerabilities, and begin to dispel stereotypes and assumptions. We hope for an outcome toward building healthy relationships.

There is a saying: “A story is the shortest distance between people.” We hope through these dialogues to build communication, cooperation, and community, freeing our energy for better learning and creative action in today’s society.

Our sponsors include The Community Engagement Center at Pitzer College, the NAACP Pomona Valley, National Council of Negro Women Pomona Valley, Baháʼí Claremont, Friends Meeting of Claremont, Braver Angels, Agnes Moreland Jackson Diversity Program Fund, and the Diversity Advisory Group of Pilgrim Place.

We also invite you to join the Braver Angels in their quest to bring a divided nation together. Isolated from each other, our communities and families are damaged. As we learn to listen to each other with respect, humility, honesty and responsibility, the common good can be achieved.

Email nshiras@mac.com for more information.

Natalie Shiras, a Pilgrim Place resident and retired United Church of Christ pastor, is a facilitator of Circle of Chairs Interracial Dialogue on Race.

Jan Chase, minister of Unity Church of Pomona Valley, is a convener of Compassionate Pomona, a facilitator of Circle of Chairs, and a member of Claremont Interfaith Council, Pomona Valley Working Group for Middle East Peace, and the Upland Interfaith Council. 

This article first appeared in La Nueva Voz.