By Anna Hoy | Special to the Courier

As I reflect on the past few months, I can’t help but think about what it truly means to be valiant — especially when life tests you in ways you never expected.

I began this new year with my mother-in-law in the hospital. What started as a fall in our home turned into 20 days of uncertainty. We didn’t know whether she would make it or not. There were moments I feared the worst, but I had to keep pushing. Ultimately, she pulled through and needed to move to a skilled nursing facility. I had to be there every day, ensuring that she was getting the care she needed and managing the whirlwind of phone calls, decisions, and challenges.

Side note: I was a mess. Juggling everything — work, home life, caregiving — was overwhelming. But I knew it was important. I couldn’t just sit back. When she finally came home, I had to make sure we were equipped to care for her properly. It was exhausting, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

What I’ve learned through this whole experience is that no matter how much you think you’re prepared, you’re never fully ready for something like this. One of the most crucial things I realized was the importance of having the right legal and medical documentation in place. If you haven’t already, make sure you have a will, a living trust, power of attorney, and an advanced directive in place — especially if you’re over 40. These things are vital.

Here are a few key recommendations:

• Have all your personal information organized in one place. This includes things like medical records, insurance details, and emergency contacts. Keep them in a folder or digital file so they’re easily accessible in case of an emergency.

• Be kind to yourself. You will be frustrated. You’ll want to give up, but you can’t. You’ll make countless phone calls, fill out endless forms, and do things you never thought you’d have to do. But remember, it’s okay to not have it all together.

• Write everything down. Keep a notebook to track all the details — appointments, phone calls, tasks. It’s easy to get lost in the chaos, but writing it all down helps you stay organized.

• Ask for help. It’s okay to lean on family, friends, or even professionals for support. This is not a solo journey. I thought I had to be the one to do it all, but when I finally asked for help, my family was waiting for me to do so. They believed in my strength, but what I realized is that even the strongest need help sometimes.

Taking care of my mother-in-law has been an emotional rollercoaster, but I’ve learned so much about myself and about what it really means to love and care for someone. There were times when I wanted to lose my patience, but I reminded myself that this was my chance to give back to someone who had always been there for me and my family.

Through all of this, it became clear that you have to take care of yourself, too. Whether that means taking a walk, crying, reading a book, or talking to a counselor — whatever it is that helps you recharge. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Life is full of challenges, and sometimes it’s about taking it one day at a time, or even one moment at a time. But no matter how hard it gets, I truly believe we all have resilience inside of us. You just have to tap into it when you need it the most.

Stay strong, be kind to yourself, and don’t forget that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Anna Hoy is the Courier’s advertising director, a wife, mom of four grown sons, proud grandmother, and devoted caregiver to her mother-in-law, Sandy, who believes in the power of resilience and the importance of asking for help.