by Steve Harrison

There are caustic people in this world. Sometimes we find that we are related to them. Sometimes it’s a friend who changes, maybe due to some very difficult life event. Sometimes they sit across from us at the conference table at work or school. Their bitterness is insidious and cancerous.

It’s not easy to distance oneself from these people. We are taught to make the best of bad situations and look for the best in people. We want to go high when others go low. It’s what our parents and churches teach us to do. But when is it time to cut someone out of our lives, to distance ourselves far from a malignant influence.

I’ve done it a few times in my life, and though ultimately it has been for the best, I cannot say it doesn’t hurt, sometimes even many years after the separation. I guess I can say that I’m lucky that the people I have had to distance myself from have been friends, not family. Chosen affiliations and not compulsory ones. In either case, is moving on from someone or a situation seen as growth or failure? I’m sure it can be both. Tough love requires toughness, sometimes more than we think we have.

As I was watching both political conventions, I was thinking how hard it must be for someone to leave the party they had found a safe haven in, a group of like-minded souls, a familiar reflection. But change occurs, in churches, with friends, in governments, and in cultures. Rules change. We may try to adapt but the struggle is too much. We must either tune out or drop out. Neither is easy. It takes courage to step away.

I was accused in a Courier letter to the editor not long ago of living in the sad world that liberals create. I doubt the writer tuned in to last week’s Democratic National Convention. It was anything but sad. I’ve never really been a political person; I’m not sure I have ever watched conventions for more than 10 minutes at a time, but I did this year. I found the contrast between the two striking. The energy, the expressions, the message, each an interesting juxtaposition. The effect on my mood was equally different. Give me hope. Give me poetry. Give me history. Give me celebration. As Tim Waltz said during his acceptance speech, it’s time to turn the page.

It applies to politics, and it applies to life. When something isn’t working any longer, when the joy derived from a job, a friendship, or a belief system no longer exists, it is time to turn the page.