By Mick Rhodes | editor@claremont-courier.com

One of my favorite photos, taken in 2007, is of my second daughter’s first day of kindergarten at Palisades Charter Elementary School in Pacific Palisades. The mid-September sun is shining, and I’m kneeling down, holding her hand on the front steps of the school. She looks a little anxious, but absolutely adorable in her flowery blue dress and matching sweater. I too am resplendent with my near full head of brown hair (RIP).

Ah, the memories.

It was a pivotal moment: daughter two was entering public school. It was a fancy one too, too fancy for us if I’m being honest. She got in after we won a lottery drawing for one the few slots available to out of district students at the gorgeous circa 1930 Spanish style school everyone called “Pali Charter.” It took us about 20 minutes to get there from our modest Mar Vista home. The drive up and back on PCH astride the Pacific Ocean was an unbelievably lovely way to start each weekday.

Photo/courtesy of Mick Rhodes

I remember that morning well. Daughter three was just 17 months old. I’d spent the previous five years in the best job anyone can have: stay-at-home dad. It was pretty rare occupation for a man back then. I think now they’re just called dads.

After five years of full-time father on duty, I was suddenly left once again with just one child to care for during the few hours daughter two was in kindergarten. A stranger in the Palisades, toddler daughter three and I had a leisurely morning beverage at Coffee Bean and discussed our new possibilities.

I’ll never forget daughter two’s smiling face as we fetched her outside her classroom at the end of her first day. She was talking a mile-a-minute about all the cool things she did, the friends she made. A new world opened up that day for her, and for me.

I soon learned that a few hours go by pretty quickly. As the year went on, my wee one and I managed in that brief window to complete any number of tasks. We shopped, got to doctor’s appointments, met friends, and goofed around at the many beautiful parks nearby.

A few short years later, daughter three had her own first day of kindergarten, this one at Condit Elementary in Claremont, and it was no less thrilling for her or me. At Condit she made friends, and had the occasional bonus of seeing her big sister, by then a sixth grader, at lunchtime or on the school’s massive grassy playground. My son had his first day of kindergarten at Condit in 2015. Again, it was another beautiful treat for this soon to be working dad, though somewhat bittersweet as I knew it would be my last.

Now daughter two is about to graduate college and number three is a sophomore film major. I’m a bystander for their first days of school now. I miss the immediacy, but I still get happy for them, and they still indulge me and tell me about their classes and professors.

It’s been 18 years since that photo was taken at Palisades Charter Elementary. My kids are 40, 23, 19, and 15, and I’ve experienced a whole bunch of first days of school. As I write this on Wednesday, my son is walking into his first period class at Claremont High as a 10^th grader. Just two first days of school remain for him, and me.

I’ve been a parent for 40 years. As such, I remember many early days spent wondering when it would get easier. It was a lot of work, raising kids. It was a joy — the most joy I’ve ever known — but in the moment I stressed about all manner of common parental matters.

Now a grizzled veteran and more chauffeur/ATM than a teacher/protector, I have time to think about my 13 years as full-time dad on duty. That 2007 first day of school photo of daughter two brings a smile every day. Those days, I’ve come to realize, were only physically difficult; I was tired from the labor. The long-term emotional rewards though? Indescribable. I know now that raising my kids from wee chitlins was the best thing I’ll ever do in my life. I’m still living off the dividends of my lucky break to this day.

Funny, this parenting business.

Another lesson I’ve learned is it’s counterproductive to lament childhoods slipping away. My son has two more first days of school. I hope to savor them, along with all the other fun stuff that will come our way. There’s no going back to that first day of kindergarten, or that full head of brown hair.

As the late, great Joe Strummer said, the future is unwritten. It’s also been made clear to me that the past, no matter how wonderful or traumatic, is irrelevant. No, we only have now, and now only. That’s it. And with all the craziness and heartbreak swirling around all of us right now, I think it’s especially important to be greedy with the best stuff, like the first day of school, even if it’s for your 6 foot 3 inch, 15 year old manchild.

Note: Palisades Charter Elementary School was heavily damaged in January’s Palisades Fire and is now part of a $604 million LAUSD plan to rebuild it, Palisades Charter High, and Marquez Charter Elementary.