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Never been old: My life is a world of boundaries

by Kathryn Mora

Each year of my life I continue to expand, and I’m not talking about my hips. Although they’ve expanded, too but only a little. My mind, body and spirit consciousness have expanded a lot more.

The more time I spend on Earth, the more I learn about the intricacies and complexities of life. I have daily growth spurts, but I’m still the same height. Actually, I’m shorter than I was a few years ago. I didn’t know this would happen. Must be an age thing? Maybe if I hang on a stretching device a little each day I’ll regain my lost inches? It’s worth a try.

Speaking of stretching, years ago when I first heard about boundaries, I felt they’d limit my free spirit because I want a life with no limitations. Who wants to be restricted and not feel free to stretch? Certainly, not me!

During my few years of life, I’ve observed the world is made up of boundaries. I have to admit, they’ve been positive for me and have added to my life. A boundary is defined in the dictionary as “a line that marks the limits of an area; A dividing line.” Countries, states, counties and cities all have boundaries. A property line is a boundary between you and your neighbor’s house or the person in the apartment next to you. Boundaries help keep peace and order between us and our neighbors.

Boundaries mark the limits of the area between countries such as the United States and Mexico. Years ago when traveling with my family, we sat in a long line of vehicles waiting to cross the border into Mexico, which is also their boundary. When we reached the front of the line, we had to provide our identification to enter Mexico and our car was inspected, too. If we want to cross the border into Mexico, we must respect their boundaries and abide by their rules. Often, walls and fences are built around a country’s border. This ensures people follow the country’s rules, just as people must do when they enter our country. We could choose to break the law and cross their boundaries illegally if we’re willing to face the consequences, which I am not. If we had no boundaries in our lives, I think our world would be more chaotic, unprotected, unsafe and with less order. The same is true for our personal boundaries.

Personal boundaries include physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional and financial. Children start to learn about their personal boundaries at an early age. They ideally are told, “You are the boss of your body.” If someone does anything to make them feel uncomfortable, a child should feel free to express discomfort, walk away and speak to a trusted adult. This time in a child’s life has the potential to impact him or her for the rest of their life. Creating strong personal boundaries is key to being a healthy person and having relationships with others.

Adults with healthy personal boundaries can say “no” to something they do not want in their life, whether it be a touch or to be treated in a way that makes them uncomfortable. When we haven’t learned to say “no” to something we do not want, we leave ourselves open to physical and emotional abuse. It can cause us to distance from people and be guarded and closed, surround ourselves with rigid boundaries.

It would be difficult for me to build rigid boundaries because I love warm close relationships. However, in the last few years, I became aware my emotional and physical personal boundaries needed strengthening. Until these experiences, I wasn’t aware my personal limits and boundaries were weak. I continue to learn to take better care of myself by setting stronger boundaries and not allowing people to treat me in a way that makes me uncomfortable. The stronger my personal boundaries are, the more positive energy that flows through me and the more empowered and peaceful I feel as I dance on my path.

As you may know, I’ve never been old before and don’t even know when it starts. I haven’t yet received a text or email notifying me I’m old. That makes me happy because now I have more time to live and complete my bliss list. At the top of my list, connect with the right literary agent for my books, create a stand-up comedy routine based on Never Been Old, finish my screenplay, “Prudence” and attend the premiere.

If I ever receive a notification that I’m old, I could delete it, and maybe then I’ll never grow old? What a magnificent thought! I’ll have even more time to expand my mind, body and spirit consciousness, strengthen my personal boundaries, and respect and support yours as I follow my bliss.

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